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Tue, Jan 17, 2017
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One-Line Philosopher: Top 10 thoughts of the week
10. My boss fired me at the tree nursery. He caught me taking an unauthorized leave.

9. Contrarians get stupid on smart water.

8. How do you know when a punster is mature? He's a groan man.

7. I hear they found a gentler breed of Sasquatch. They call him "Little Footsie."

6. You'll never understand a revolutionary until the government labels you an outlaw.

5. If you were a test tube you'd flunk.

4. I told my therapist that everyone treated me like a dog. He patted me head, gave me a treat, and then let me out to go pee.

3. What happens in Vegas maxes out my credit cards.

2. When I worked at Fort Knox, I learned to follow the yellow brick lode.

1. The best way to make you whole is to work on a worthy cause's behalf.

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