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| Take this bailout and shove it! |
By: Dave Weinbaum
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Posted: Friday, April 3, 2009 11:47 pm
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Dave Weinbaum
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Cash Cab, a TV quiz show on the Discovery Channel has hooked my wife. She Tivos episodes, then insists on viewing them during “boring” sporting events like the NCAA Basketball Tournament or during the newest Super Bowl beer commercials, driving me to other TVs or a local sports bar.
The Cash Cab jaunt begins with a taxi ride of two or more fares in Manhattan. In a millisecond after ordering their destination, the riders are accosted with more flashing lights than a Chinese New Year Parade. The cabby, Ben Bailey, announces their entrance in the Cash Cab. After squealing their eagerness to play, the passengers are peppered with ever increasingly difficult questions.
If they make it to the end without getting three wrong answers, they get to keep their newfound treasure or play double or nothing.
Get out while you can!
The Washington version of Cash Cab is exemplified by the sad story of the big three carmakers and a few bank CEOs. These mogul’s companies are on the brink, caused by a government forced sub-prime mortgage crisis, almost a century of management giving into union demands, and the heeding of ridiculous Fed guidelines.
They landed in their companies’ separate G-4 jets at Dulles and hailed a taxi.
The cabby, buffeted by two burly guys with curly wires coming out of their ears, addressed the group face forward with a typical, “Where to?” GM President, Rick Wagoner directed, “Capitol Hill, and step on it!”
The six-door cab went crazy with dancing disco lights. Vibrating rap music rocked the starchy fares. Swiveling to face his “customers,” our Commander-in-Chief and taxi-temp, Barack Obama, turned and said, “You’re in DC’s Cash Cab! Do you want to play?” The bank CEOs in the back tried to get out, but their doors were already locked. As the yellow Prius entered the freeway, Ford Chairman Alan Mulally lunged for his door, opened it and dove out, ruining his $3,000 suit while suffering multiple scrapes and scratches. However, his dignity was unscathed.
The Chrysler and GM moguls said “Forget about him!”
Obama asked, “Are you willing to take taxpayer billions at the expense of your soul, your job and the safety of your family?”
“I don’t understand the question,” Chrysler head Bob Nardelli said. He yelled, “Of course we’ll play!”
Taxi doors locked, the lights went out, windows hermetically sealed and Barack slowly turned as one of the Secret Service men took the wheel. He glared at the executives with contempt. He finally had capitalism where he wanted it. Bankers and car moguls were now mere toys to be politicized, propped up, and then discarded at his leisure.
The real winner of DC Cash Cab is Obama and his formally disguised socialist revolution.
The losers: The American taxpayers, the Constitution and Western civilization as we know it, once the pride of the USA and the envy of all.
“Give me bankruptcy or give me death!”
Barack Obama is now the head of major banks, international insurance companies and the Big Two carmakers. Ford somehow is thriving without taxpayer billions because of the gutsy leadership of Mulally.
Without ever having spent five minutes being paid to change a tire, work as a bank teller or sell a policy (other than a Marxist one), Obama has taken CEO names and numbers. He knows where they live and how to turn ACORN mobs against them and their families. Remember the bussed-in ACORN hoards dropped on the porches of AIG employee homes? The only think missing was pitchforks and gallows.
Now President Obama has kicked it up a notch. Sensing a ratings loser in his Cash Cab rip-off, he pilfered Donald Trump’s Apprentice TV show and one-upped him.
A few days ago he told GM head Rick Wagoner, “YOU’RE FIRED!”
The lesson is simple. Tell Congress and the president, when offered taxpayer billions, to: TAKE THIS BAILOUT AND SHOVE IT!
(Dave Weinbaum is a regular contributor of one-liners and commentaries to many regional and national publications and web sites, including the Reader's Digest, National Enquirer and Forbes and is a regular pundit for the www.jewishworldreview.com. Readers can reach Dave at dwquote@prodigy.net or his website, www.daveweinbaum.com. Listen to the Dave Weinbaum Radio Talk show on KTTR 99.7 FM and 1490 AM on Friday Mornings starting at 9:05)
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