Three great children were probably the biggest success of my first marriage. My love died as I accepted that my husband’s epileptic seizures and/or medication resulted in periodic fits of anger. He said he could not remember his abuse, as I and our oldest child attended the school of hard knocks. Maturity and a successful second marriage have helped me know what is out of my control and in my best interest to avoid, as well as when there is positive potential. Listening to myself, which according to my belief system, indicates God is trying to tell me something, has progressively grown. I am happy to say that trusting my instincts has helped increase my happiness and peace. About one month after the divorce was finalized. I wanted to get out into the community, go new places and meet new people. Now legally a single parent, I heard at work about a group called Parents without Partners. My employer was affiliated with the group through joint activities. My co-worker had actually cancelled meeting attendance on the first night I had the opportunity to attend, however I had promised one of the group members that I would be there. As I was driving toward the event, I remember looking up at the moon and chuckling at myself for feeling driven forward.
A wealth of advice is available from friends, relatives, role models, books and media sources. We can dwell on, think and dream about situations 24/7. Differing opinions flip and flop as we weigh the pros and cons from every possible angle. But to access internal feelings it’s helpful to detach from all of the above and notice which direction seems naturally attractive, resulting in positive “above the belt” feelings such as exhilaration and anticipation. Since childhood I have had experiences that have included strong intuitions. It seemed like I was emotionally pulled or compelled toward a certain direction. This was the case in regard to group attendance that night. I felt a burning necessity to be present.
I was talking with several people at the Parents as Partners meeting and a man joined the conversation. When I looked at him, the expression in his eyes said “there you are.” I felt acceptance, approval, kindness and an attraction that was mutual. I wanted to know him better. At that time he had a dairy farm, which required his full time milking attention. Our phone bills were horrendous as we got to know each other. I turned out we had much more in common than single parenting. I had never met anyone who really thought about things the same way as me. It was so easy, I soon came to believe this was “meant to be.”
We have been married for almost 20 years and I we continue to be on the same wave length. My professional skills as a nurse and his as a retired school teacher have been put to good use with the many children that have shared our home and affection. Besides the children from our first marriages, we have one child together and at one point were foster parents. We have appreciated mutual support though parenting, financial and health challenges. Taking care of each other is a priority. Empathy is glue that holds us together. I try to balance external, thinking and emotional input. It’s a “wake-up call” when I experience or my body indicates extreme like or dislike. At times there have been others who have not appreciated or understood my choices; but listening to my emotions and noticing my body language has consistently guided me toward helping myself and others.
TIP! If we completely release past regrets or future concerns, out bodies will respond to current situations with surges of energy or fatigue, indicating our subconscious truth.
Susan A Marino, BFA, MA, NCC, counselorsam/coach featuring Life Stories & Lessons
“I teach emotional Release Techniques that support Life Transitions.”
“Trust your instincts. Intuition doesn’t lie.” Oprah