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What’s next? ‘Codgers for Caskets?’
What’s next? ‘Codgers for Caskets?’

Dave Weinbaum
Who says government can’t run business? Most everyone! That’s beside the point. Even Obama chides postal failure to dispatch letters across the United States sans profit. But now, the Obamanistas are in the car biz to the tips of their GM tail fins.

Cash for clunkers, also knwn as “Send an Asian Child to College,” is now history. Time to review:

With the exception of two Ford products, the other eight most-bought cars are from Japan and Korea.

What did it do for Government-owned Motors?

Not much apparently. Many of the dealers dropped out almost a week before it ended because the government wouldn’t or couldn’t pay. Their excuse was they were too busy writing stimulus checks to convicts in their cells.

Ah, but there is a sliver lining. All ten of the clunkers were American made. Sure makes me proud! How about you?

So what if the dealers hated it? So what if we took three-quarter-million old American cars that could have gone to the poor and euthanized them? So what if many dealers cut the program almost a week before its planned end?

It did get butts into the showrooms.

Even Obama knows that one promotion doth not a success make.

But let’s not stop at autos!

Cross-over promotions between different government enterprises will encourage even more takeovers.

The feds have three big advantages against privately owned business:

• They don’t have to play by the rules.

• If the promotion tanks, there’s an endless supply of cash from us the taxpayers.

• When that runs out, watch as the Benjamins start flying out of the printing presses.

Now that the government is just a short fixed vote away from owning the outcomes of our very existence, let the promotions begin!

The only time some people get carried away is at their funeral


Think of the possibilities:

• Revenge of the baby seals: It won’t be long after health care is passed that we could encourage ill seniors to die earlier so we could feed them to those globally hot polar bears and baby white seals!

• Raid my house: Watch as SEIU and ACORN break your door down and steal your Twinkies and Ho-Hos. What they don’t eat, they’ll give to old people in place of hip or knee replacements. Oldsters vil take it and vil like it!

• The baiting game: Let’s see how many SEIU and ACORN thugs you can piss off before they gang up and wipe the street with your face—all in good fun and charity, folks.

• Town-hall ball throw at $1000 a shot: Hit the button on the cage and drop your insulting Congressman into a room with masked CIA operatives waiting to water-board him into reading the House health care bill.

Who’s That Radical? TV show: Pick the most anti-American radical in the Obama Administration. Get backers too timid to sponsor Glenn Beck. My money is on the ex-Weatherman founder Jeff Jones who wrote the $800 billion stimulus bill. But don’t give up on Green Jobs Czar, self admitted communist and black nationalist, Van Jones.

It’s Your Life Health Care Roulette: Spin the wheel or choose the secret panel’s “special message.”

• Sell that child!: Science Czar John Holdgren has advocated population control via government enforced abortions and sterilizations. Ever the sentimental one, John won’t choose the extra children in your house to get rid of. He’ll allow you to pick. How much can you get for Tommy or Cindy? In a macabre way, the cash you get for them is testament to your parenting.

• Hog flu hullabaloo: Spread the flu-sell the meds!

• Codgers for caskets: For normal seniors, unlike the recently departed Senator Kennedy, the challenge will be for families to afford a decent casket after covering costs government insurance refused to pay. So the earlier Granny or Pappy makes room for our youts, the cheaper the box!

America, this is your wakeup call! Get off your buttocks and stop these people from stealing your freedom!

(Dave Weinbaum is a regular contributor of one-liners and commentaries to many regional and national publications and web sites, including the Reader's Digest, National Enquirer and Forbes and is a regular pundit for the www.jewishworldreview.com. Readers can reach Dave at dwquote@prodigy.net or his website, www.daveweinbaum.com. Listen to the Dave Weinbaum Radio Talk show on KTTR 99.7 FM and 1490 AM on Friday mornings starting at 9:05.)



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