Want to make a liberal crazier? Mention these names!
By: Dave Weinbaum
Posted: Tuesday, August 25, 2009 4:34 pm
I’ve taken to starting my radio talk show with a name assured to raise the cackles of lefties all over mid-Missouri. As the show breaks, I’m inclined to welcome my audience with two words, “Sarah Palin,” then ruminate about all the red faces, heart palpitations and coffee mugs that are dropped and shattered throughout the heartland.
It’s called “pushing their buttons,” catalyzing their derangement through their brainwashed, blurred vision of the world that’s completely tainted by government-run media. I feel like a high school punk calling for a food fight, then stepping back to enjoy the fun.
So why deprive my readers of this liberal madness?
• George W. Bush — The cause of all evil, including his brother ex-Florida Governor Jeb stealing the 2000 election, sending hurricanes to murder blacks and wars on countries that were innocent. Of course the left conveniently forgets the Clinton Administration’s decree to remove the Saddam regime years before 9/11. Mr. and Mrs. Bubba and the Congress were convinced that Saddam had weapons of mass destruction and/or a fast track to develop nukes.
• Dick Cheney — The Darth Vader of America. Libs believe Cheney is evil, oily and in control of Halliburton. They think he’s a conspirer of such mammoth proportions that he evokes hysteria and diarrhea amongst lefties throughout the world.
• Rush Limbaugh — A man who came out of nowhere (Cape Girardeau, Missouri) via Kansas City and single-handedly leveled the playing field. Rush took on the liberal networks, newspapers, and now Internet. Instrumental in reversing the control of Congress from Democrats to Republicans in 1994, Rush has never been elected to as much as dogcatcher! Limbaugh has to be the numero uno as the singular most effective cause of liberal hyper-insanity, blood pressure jolts and Maalox guzzling.
• Ann Coulter — Hitler in heels and a black leather mini to the “Hope and Change” gang. Ann is the target for those who can’t beat her logic or throw pies straight enough to cause her to call for a towel.
• Fox News — Libs believe if you say you heard it on “Faux Snooze” there’s no need to come up with any contrary facts. Whatever is said is by definition a lie.
• Karl Rove — A tossup with Cheney. Karl’s biggest crime is he kicked Democrat arse over two straight presidential elections when the odds and polls indicated Gore and Kerry wins. Democrats have tried to have Rove frog-marched down Pennsylvania Avenue for eight years. They continue their quest under the Obama Administration. Karl has shown what a nice and talented guy he truly is during his informative and entertaining Fox segments.
• Glenn Beck — Glenn’s admittedly nuts at times, but he’s a ratings magnet. An overnight hit at Fox, Glenn has gained maximum animosity amongst the left. Van Jones, a self-acknowledged communist, founder of Colorofchange.org and newly anointed green jobs czar for the Obama Administration, is the lead in trying to kill Beck’s show. Through Colorofchange.org, Jones is threatening Beck’s sponsors with boycott using the ole’ Jackson-Sharpton shakedown routine. Why? Because Glenn called Barack Hussein Obama a racist when the President took a black Hahvad professor’s side over a white Cambridge cop’s after admitting he didn’t have the facts. Also, Glenn ran an expose of Jones, his communism and his black nationalism.
• Bill O’Reilly — The left HATES HIM with a passion. I believe most of the animus is jealousy over Bill’s huge and growing ratings. I think O’Reilly is soft on Obama, possibly because he honored Bill with an interview during the campaign.
• Dave Weinbaum — Some Mid-Missouri libs dislike me. My approach is to reason with those I can and irritate those I can’t. I beg them to call me on my radio show and defend this government’s policies. There ARE reasonable southpaws and given the truth, they will change. In fact, you are witnessing a vast shift amongst long-time Democrats to Republicans Seniors and independents, or as Harry Reid likes to call them “evil mongers,” are tidal-waving toward the Republicans.
OV VEY! I just dropped MY coffee. A lib just reminded me that Nancy Pelosi is third in line to be president.
(Dave Weinbaum is a regular contributor of one-liners and commentaries to many regional and national publications and web sites, including the Reader's Digest, National Enquirer and Forbes and is a regular pundit for the www.jewishworldreview.com. Readers can reach Dave at firstname.lastname@example.org or his website, www.daveweinbaum.com. Listen to the Dave Weinbaum Radio Talk show on KTTR 99.7 FM and 1490 AM on Friday mornings starting at 9:05.)