The fall TV season will soon be upon us. With the economy in tatters, our democracy dumped overnight in favor of Marxism, and our new foreign policy of kissing up to enemies and throwing old friends under busses, people will need a break. With four-dollar gas on the way, no jobs and a looming federal bankruptcy, Americans need fantasy and distraction.
What to do, what to do? Hey, let’s check out the new fall lineup! And who knows, maybe a new administration will come in so businesses can afford to advertise again.
Here are my contributions:
• Curb Your Democracy - Dedicated to Saul Alinsky and Karl Marx, starring Barack Obama, Rahm Emanual, Nancy Pelosi, and Harry Reid and those crazy enforcers at ACORN.
• I love Nancy! – Cute and bubbly Nancy Pelosi and her love affair with the American People. With Harry Reid as Fred and Barney Franks as her partner in crime, Ethel.
• American Infidel - The Fatwa list is out and the contest begins. Who IS America’s favorite Infidel? From the folks who brought you 9/11, a production of al-Jazeera. Judges include Osama bin Laden, Dr. al-Zawahiri, and surprise guest judge for his best imitation of a Muslim yet, President Barack Obama.
• Blame it on the Bushes - Starring Barack Obama, the Dem Congress and their favorite straw man George W. Bush. After a multitude of promos during the campaign, the show aired 1/20/09; however, it may not make it to September as people aren’t buying the premise anymore.
• Sponge Joe Square Plugs – You’ll want to plagiarize this show. An underwater hoot with the biggest blow fish under the sea, starring the gaff-a-minute man/fish, Joe Biden and his side kick, stock shark, Dick Durbin.
• The Rosie Van Dyke Show - Starring Barney Frank as her dad. Wow, here’s a wacky one, sure to bring in homophobes and gays alike. All they have to do is lean so far to the left that there’s no chance of civility ... with anyone.
• Late Spite with David Letterman - Got a ratings challenge, getting old, no morals? NO PROBLEM!!! Just make a joke about a sitting governor looking like a whore and her two teenage daughters raped by a Latino baseball star. What you worry? You’re a Lib, not some nutty cowboy radio talk show host!
• Tax Cab - Based on Cash Cab. Starring that patriotic taxpayer, the only Dem in the Obama Administration to burden himself so, Joe Biden. Turbo-tax Timmy provides the questions aided by Charlie Rangel and Tom Daschle. You start with $10,000 in taxes due and have to answer questions to reduce it to $5,000. As Charlie says, “Either way, you’re gonna pay!” What fun!
• “23” - We’re safe for 23 hours but because of budget cuts, there’s always one hour when everything and I do mean everything goes to Hell. That one hour happens to be the TV Show – starring Leon Panneta and rogue agent Sarah Palin as they try to save the country from Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid and President Obama.
• The Golden Boys – Starring Jeremiah Wright, Louis Farrakhan and Father Pflager. We’ll supply prayer rugs and some Saudi Arabian school books so they don’t run out of anti-Semitic drivel. Representing “them Jews,” Larry David, Rahm Emanual, David Axelrod and other AIPAC stereotypes.
• Leave it to Uigher - With foster parents Barack and Michelle and crazy Uncle Biden. Bill Clinton is given the task of showing four crazy Chinese terrorists how to score in a tropical paradise.
As much as they’d like to, the nitworks can’t rely on President Obama for ratings. His viewers are starting to tire of him. He’s becoming like the History Channel – too many repeats. Time is soon approaching where they’ll have to get creative again.
As a lead in to these shows, they might actually have to put on news people can believe.
I don’t think they’re prepared to go THAT far!
(Dave Weinbaum is a regular contributor of one-liners and commentaries to many regional and national publications and web sites, including the Reader's Digest, National Enquirer and Forbes and is a regular pundit for the www.jewishworldreview.com. Readers can reach Dave at firstname.lastname@example.org or his website, www.daveweinbaum.com. Listen to the Dave Weinbaum Radio Talk show on KTTR 99.7 FM and 1490 AM on Friday mornings starting at 9:05.)